Navigating Love & Dating While Teaching English Abroad

Making the choice to live and teach English abroad is the first step in the adventure of a lifetime. As an English teacher in countries like Spain, China, and Costa Rica, you won’t just be a tourist passing through; you’ll become a member of a new community — a "local," if you will. This means forming a social circle, making friends, and, yes, dating, especially if you're not already in a relationship. You’ll meet locals, fellow travelers, and other teachers from around the globe, all of whom can expand your perspective as you experience their unique cultures.

A huge part of adjusting to a new culture is understanding the norms in love, relationships, and dating. Many English teachers successfully navigate relationships, and some even find the love of their lives (like yours truly!). However, especially at first, you may find yourself in a world of love and dating that feels confusing and difficult to understand. Even in your home community, figuring out love, dating, and relationships can be challenging. Here are some key tips to help you navigate love and dating while teaching English overseas!

Build Your Community

The best way to navigate love and dating while abroad is to build a strong social circle and support system, and the way to start is by getting to know new people! Consider joining a volleyball or soccer team or signing up for a weekly painting class aimed at expatriates and English speakers. 

Additionally, take advantage of the various tools and resources available to you, such as social media, to find expat communities. ITA alumni can access over 50 country-specific Facebook groups where you can ask questions, make friends, and even meet a future partner. A great example is Matt and Perlie, two ITA alums who first connected through ITA's South Korea Discussion Group. Their story shows that a simple DM can lead to lasting relationships and exciting adventures across more than 30 countries as TEFL digital nomads. Watch the story of their meet-cute! 

It's also important to engage with your colleagues and learn about the local culture. Once you establish connections with locals, the complexities of dating and love in that country will become much clearer.

Don't hesitate to ask questions—lots of them! For example: "Is it normal for someone to talk to me while standing just 6 inches away?" "What does that mean? Is it a cultural norm in Russia, or does she like me?" "What is the local protocol for asking someone out on a first date?" "Is it appropriate for me to request someone’s phone number or email address?" "Can I ask someone out or even break up with them via text?" "Will differences in religion be a challenge in pursuing a relationship?" As you spend more time abroad, you'll start to see how these pieces fit together.

Read more:  9 Pro Tips to Help You Make Friends While Teaching English Abroad

ITA graduate, Gary McIlvaine  (right) met his wife & got married while teaching English in China.

Take Note of Differences

Love is a universal language that seems easy to understand, right? Not quite! The differences in how cultures approach dating and courtship are astounding. For example, it may be perfectly acceptable in the USA to move in with your significant other before marriage while still just dating. Although societal norms are evolving globally, it's important to recognize that in some parts of the world, some societies or cultures in Latin America and the Middle East, for example, hold more traditional views that frown upon such arrangements. In certain places like the U.S., it's common to date multiple people and not always be exclusive, yet some cultures view this as confusing, "You've gone on a dozen dates, and she's met your parents, but she's not your girlfriend?"  

Before you dive into the world of dating abroad, it's best to ask your new social circle about their views on what is considered normal. For instance, is it appropriate to split the restaurant bill? If you've only been on one date with someone, are you now considered their partner? Understanding these cultural nuances can help you avoid making a major faux pas.

The New Universal Language

Love may not be the universal language you once believed it to be, but here's some good news: online dating is! Especially when you first arrive in a new city or country, the Internet can be a fantastic way to meet new friends with similar interests and explore dating opportunities. In many ways, online dating is quite similar to what you might find in the U.S. or Canada. There are popular apps like Tinder, Match, and Bumble that you can use, along with local apps and websites specific to the country where you are teaching.

But as mentioned above, it's always a good idea to consult your new social circle about how to navigate the online dating landscape. For example, you might ask, "His username is cutiepie1987—does he think he’s really a 'cutie pie,' or is he just joking?" Humor can vary greatly from one culture to another!

Ultimately, navigating the dating scene can be an exciting adventure, and dating abroad can often be much more interesting than you might experience back home. So get ready to collect some incredible dating stories and memories, and don't forget to implement these tips to help you find fun, excitement, and perhaps even love while teaching English abroad.

Your love story starts here: 

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